The completely awesome looking and over the top new film from Robert Rodriguez, Machete opens today and Heavy favorite Jessica Alba will be shooting up the big screen alongside Michelle Rodriguez and Mexican bad-ass Danny Trejo. Jessica drew mainstream attention for her lead role in the James Cameron series Dark Angel and has pretty much been a mainstay on just about every "hot actress" list ever since. Enjoy these 20 smoking hot photos of Jessica at her best and check her out in Machete as well as Little Fockers.  |
It's been hard times for Mexico's tourism department with all the drug cartel wars going on, but I bet if they put this photo in their brochures the kids would be flocking to Cozumel once again for fun in the sun. |
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Here's Miss Alba in full lethal stripper garb from her earlier collaboration with Robert Rodriguez from 2005's Sin City. Jessica Alba fact #61, that bra she wore drew a winning bid of $1,025 on Ebay. |
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Yellow can be a hard color for a lot of people to pull off, but somehow Jessica does it amazingly. We applaud you Jessica, but honestly you could really do no wrong with any color choice. |
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I'm pretty sure this is what Spongebob dreams about in that underwater pineapple house of his. |
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Okay, I'm pretty much 99.9 % sure that Jessica had no idea this photo was being taken, but either way you should probably write her a thank you card anyways. |
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Jessica is a movie star who gets paid more money than most of us could ever hope of making, so why is she shacking up in an apartment that looks like it was hit by a bomb of poverty? |
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For being on the beach in a swimsuit it must be really cold outside. |
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It's like the photographer said, "I want a desert, hot girl wearing high heels and a sport utility vehicle... time to make some photo magic!" |
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Jessica suffered from asthma as a child and now has turned the tables and causes full grown men to lose their breath. |
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Odd Jessica Alba fact #123, she's afraid of flying birds. Not to worry, Jessica I'll protect you from any vicious pigeons, blue jays or mocking birds. You're on you own against any hawks though. |
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Man invented fishnet stockings to make women's legs look sexy. God invented Jessica to bring joy throughout the world. It was only a matter of time before the two were united. |
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On second thought, fishnet stockings aren't really needed at all to help Jessica's sexy appeal. |
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Rolling around on a sandy beach is always more fun with a partner, don't worry Jessica you don't have to say anything. Your eyes do all the talking... I'll be right there. |
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Generally looking at a piece of wicker furniture is about as exciting as playing with a bag of dirt. Yet, when Jessica is sitting on the piece of wicker furniture I can't turn my eyes away. |
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Somebody get that girl some pants! Only kidding, pants may be required for 7-11, McDonalds or pretty much any public establishment, but Ms. Alba is always welcome pants-less at the Heavy offices. |
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I don't think Jessica has ever played a Bond girl, but as this photo proves she certainly would bring a nice touch to the spy franchise. |
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One of the few photos with Jessica sporting short hair. She looks a little pissed off in this photo, like maybe her hairdresser chopped off more then she wanted. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm sure plenty of Heavy readers will be happy to volunteer. |
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Here's a nice black and white photo of Jessica from Sin City. Lap dances $10, bad tippers will be lassoed and shot without hesitation. |
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Man, this girl wears a lot of bathing suits. Not complaining, just saying. Carry on, Jessica. |
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Congratulations! You made it to photo #20 one our "20 Hottest Pictures of Jessica Alba" list. As a reward for your hard work we've hooked up with Jessica who will be stopping by your house to personally congratulate you. Just hold your breath and wait for her to come. |
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